This post is for all those people that have ever wondered if you can projectile vomit while driving and not get in an accident. And, the answer is YES.
So I have this friend and her name is...
PAUSE.
Um... Lillian, yep, that's right her name is Lillian. So this morning my friend Lillian went for an 18 mile run (sucks BALLSSSSSSS). Ok, she said it wasn't that bad and everything was pretty normal... at least during the run. She had her pre-run Larabar, her mid run 6, 9, 12 mile chomp breaks and of course LOTS AND LOTS of water and Gatorade.
REWIND.
Let's go back to pre-18 miles. At 6:50am the Atlanta Marathon Club met at the Bike Shop off Floyd Rd in Mabelton, GA right alongside the Silver Comet Trail. We all climbed out of our cars, performed pre-run rituals and caught up with each other. Emilie, Kerrie and I were all sick last week, so there was a quick check to see how everyone was doing.
When I asked Emilie how she was feeling (since she had been sick most recently)... she said much better. She then proceeded to tell me that apparently not only had she come down with a throat (?) and ear infection, but apparently she had water toxicity.
I'll give you a moment to process that.
Ok. Yea. Water toxicity, the condition of having consumed TOO MUCH water. I never knew such a thing was possible... neither did Lillian till later this morning.
FAST FORWARD TO MILE 18.
DONNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Actually the best moment wasn't finishing the 18 miles, it was having Mike tell me at mile 16.1 that we had less than 2 miles to go.
WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I really can't explain that feeling, except to say it was pure BLISS. Nom nom nom nom nom. Really fucking fantastic.
Anyways, we all finish the run, hobble back to our cars and start the drive home--33 minutes for me--errr, Lillian. So Lillian is driving home and about 15 minutes into the drive she starts to feel a little queasy. Huh, that's strange... Deep breathssssss. Five minutes pass, the fucking deep breathing is not working!
Then she feels it. Uh Oh. Only two exits away from getting off the freeway. KEEP IT TOGETHER, LILLIAN. KEEP IT TOGETHER!!!! Oh God. I can't keep it together... I mean Lillian. Reality has sunk in, she is not going to make it home. She pulls over into the far right lane and looks for a spot to pull over. FUCKING DOWNTOWN ATLANTA!!!! ARGHHHHH there's no where to fucking pull over!!!
EXIT ONLY looms ahead. She moves one lane to the left. And then it happens. Oh God. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD.
What happened next I can only describe as sheer... well... you know, projectile vomiting. I can only imagine what other drivers passing her must have thought:
"Why is that woman projectile vomiting a gallon of water?"
"Did that woman just drown and projectile vomit herself back to life?"
and, of course:
"DAMNNNNNNNNN"
After she flushed her system of the excess water she felt down right dandy. Except for the fact that she had a gallon of regurgitated water in her lap and soaking through her pants. AWESOME.
I know that this story is, well, ridiculously, ridiculously, TMI. But I'd like to think I'm just doing my civil duty. After all, maybe it could save YOU from water toxicity.
MMM HMMMM.
xoxo Jildo
P.S. Yes, I know, I know this has nothing to do with money... but a valuable lesson none the less.
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