You know exactly what I'm talking about. It's the house, the white pickett fence, the two kids and the dog. Yup. Fuck it.
Don't hate me yet- wait till the end of the post. When I was five I repeatedly told my mom that I wanted 20 million babies. Ridiculous, right? Obviously because since then Ive realized you either endure a c-section where you smell your own flesh burning or you rip from your vagina to your asshole giving "natural birth". Tell me, how is that natural? Its not like a ziploc bag down there. Yea, exactly.
So, that brings me to my statement: fuck the american dream. If you know me fairly well you know I left SB for lotsssss of reasons. One pretense being that I couldn't buy a house there, couldn't have a family, blah, blah, blah.
Then I moved to Georgia and slowly I started to realise maybe I don't want a family. A house. Two kids. A dog. It's not about money- i mean that would be silly- I just... Well I'm selfish. I don't want to go through childbirth, I don't want to blow up like a balloon, I don't want to dress like a mom.
A couple days ago one of my guy friends told me: "you're getting older. You need to get married soon." I wanted to punch him in the face. What is it with getting married? Just leave me the fuck alone. Ok, now yes, I admit I'm sure I have some issues with marriage due to my parents failed marriage, but I have even bigger issues with people telling me I need to get married.
So, maybe no kids, no fence, no dog.
Cheers, Jildo
P.S. This is really random and probably completely stupid and I HOPE other people feel like this... After I saw 'A River Runs Through It', I thought of Tristan, thats me, I'll never find anyone that can handle me.
That said, I've always said by 30 I wanna have a family or be successful. I pray to God I'm successful.
P.P.S. Because el blog should relate back to money... It costs like $15K to have a kid. And thats just child birth. Forget about the stress of secret thong buying when your little girl grows up, college, puke on your whole carpet from the party the kids threw without your permission (okay that actually kinda makes me want them haha). But, yea. The American Dream? Isn't there a dollar menu version?
Posting this as anon...You know me IRL. Not well, but you do. I say this for no other reason than to add an air of legitimacy to my ultimate point that your conclusion is not an unreasonable one, and one that you're not alone in reaching. I, too, have become quite jaded by this fixation with what you describe as the American Dream. The thing is, my objection doesn't arise from envy or jealousy: I honestly, truly, and legitimately am happy for the people who really get a feeling of fulfillment by seeking out this whole 2.5, white picket fence thing as an endgame goal...it's just not for me. Really. I've thought deeply and searchingly about this, and it's simply not something I'm interested in, but this is something that just doesn't settle well with a lot people. It's quite an odd thing to have to explain and defend to a person that you're really not interested in ever getting married and/or having kids. And you hit the nail in the head that it's most often associated with selfishness, but I really just don't get that point: how is it selfish *not* to want to introduce a mini-you into the world for your own enjoyment and validation for 18-some-odd-years? I'm clearly using loaded language, but I'm doing so ultimately to raise a point: I think the terms of the conversation are just wrong at the outset and disfavor those who it shouldn't.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, this is all a long exercise in self-congratulation. I really just want to see a state of affairs where there's no implicit or explicit pressure for a person to feel compelled to do *anything*, and I just wanted to give support in making you realize that you're not unreasonable in your ultimate "non-traditional" objectives.
And yes, kids are fucking expensive.
Cheers
Thanks for the reply- nice to know i'm not the only one. Sometimes I get sad thinking about it, but I'd rather be alone than settle for a "dream" thats just not that awesome.
Delete