Last night at bootcamp my friend Jeff aka Jeffe comes up to me and says "I like your blog, its cool."
Thanks :).
Jeff: "I mean, you're just a young girl bitching, but it's cool."
Face/Palm. Uh, thanks?
I obviously was not quite sure how to take this. I decided to just walk away with the positive- he called me a young girl. Woo! That's a compliment for someone thats on the back nine. I was almost as pumped by this as when I got pulled over in Pasadena three years ago for making an illegal left turn and the cop wrote on my ticket that I only weighed 120lbs- hahahaha. (That ticket was totally worth it. Totally.)
So, anyways based on the last blog you have probably already guessed that my irresponsibility is costing me mucho dinero. Its so funny after I got my car rekeyed and then found my keys I called my dad and he said "Jillian you are normally very responsible, so you know if you ever need any help that's what I'm here for." I obviously don't feel very responsible right now, but I am so so so lucky to have parents that are there for me.
Pre- car rekey I had enough money in my checking account to pay off my credit card in full. Post- car rekey I don't want to look- especially since all I had on me at the time was my debit card. $250 gone. Adios! See ya later! In situations like these I have just come to the conclusion that the only way to think about it is maybe someone else needed the money more than me.
Good news? I have to work overtime this week so hopefully that will make up for my ridiculous ridiculousness.
over and out. Jildo
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Dude, Where's My Car... Key
There comes a time in every persons life when they realize its time to grow up.
My alarm went off at 5:30am this morning- a tad early considering I didn't have to be at work until 7:30am. Why was my alarm going off? I rolled over and went back to sleep. At 6:15am I work up again and checked my phone.
Text from Ariana at 1:30am: "I have your car keys."
Text from Camille at 1:33am: "Ariana has your car keys please don't leave the house, its not safe to be out right now."
Text from Ariana at 5:45am: "Pick you up at 6:30am, we'll ride to work together... bad news... I don't really have your car keys."
I roll over and do a face/palm (I feel like I do this a lot in my life)... give myself a minute to regroup and then pull myself out of bed. I turn on the lights and survey myself in the mirror. I'm in full running gear- heart rate monitor and all. Great. I grab my clutch from the night before- its completely empty- cash, credit card, drivers license and car keys all gone. I remember pulling out everything save my car keys when I got home last night so they had to be somewhere... at least I wasn't a complete failure.
I check the time, 6:20am. Ten minutes. I run to the bathroom brush my teeth, fix my smudged eyeliner and throw my hair up in a pony tail.
My phone starts to vibrate. Ariana is outside waiting with coffee and an everything bagel- ANGEL. ANGEL.
By the time we get in to work I've remembered everything from the night before. Drove to Ariana, Ashley and Erica's house downtown. Parked my car on the street and we walked to State Street. 12:30am Camille picked me up downtown on her way home from work. 1am I laced up my running shoes to retrieve my car... halfway down the street I realize I do not have my car key. I run back home tear my room apart, still no keys. None of my friends have seen them either- although Ariana says she has them to make me go to bed (smart girl).
I spend the first 30 minutes at work researching locksmiths (I figure this is ok since I am 30 minutes early and not clocked in). $250 to rekey my car. FML. Time to grow up Jillian. Time to grow up.
Hope this never happens to you.
XOXO, Jildo.
My alarm went off at 5:30am this morning- a tad early considering I didn't have to be at work until 7:30am. Why was my alarm going off? I rolled over and went back to sleep. At 6:15am I work up again and checked my phone.
Text from Ariana at 1:30am: "I have your car keys."
Text from Camille at 1:33am: "Ariana has your car keys please don't leave the house, its not safe to be out right now."
Text from Ariana at 5:45am: "Pick you up at 6:30am, we'll ride to work together... bad news... I don't really have your car keys."
I roll over and do a face/palm (I feel like I do this a lot in my life)... give myself a minute to regroup and then pull myself out of bed. I turn on the lights and survey myself in the mirror. I'm in full running gear- heart rate monitor and all. Great. I grab my clutch from the night before- its completely empty- cash, credit card, drivers license and car keys all gone. I remember pulling out everything save my car keys when I got home last night so they had to be somewhere... at least I wasn't a complete failure.
I check the time, 6:20am. Ten minutes. I run to the bathroom brush my teeth, fix my smudged eyeliner and throw my hair up in a pony tail.
My phone starts to vibrate. Ariana is outside waiting with coffee and an everything bagel- ANGEL. ANGEL.
By the time we get in to work I've remembered everything from the night before. Drove to Ariana, Ashley and Erica's house downtown. Parked my car on the street and we walked to State Street. 12:30am Camille picked me up downtown on her way home from work. 1am I laced up my running shoes to retrieve my car... halfway down the street I realize I do not have my car key. I run back home tear my room apart, still no keys. None of my friends have seen them either- although Ariana says she has them to make me go to bed (smart girl).
I spend the first 30 minutes at work researching locksmiths (I figure this is ok since I am 30 minutes early and not clocked in). $250 to rekey my car. FML. Time to grow up Jillian. Time to grow up.
Hope this never happens to you.
XOXO, Jildo.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Seatjacked
Before I boarded my flight out of LAX friday in the wee hours of the morning the thought of my unknown flight buddies crossed my mind. I'm not sure what it is, but everytime I fly I end up sitting next to wackadoos. I laughed in my head, not this time. No trying to politely avoid conversations or sweetly declining help with my crossword, word find, etc (entertain yourselves damnit!). No at 1:40am no one would try and bother me... Sweet zzz's here I come!
I think God must really like to fuck with me- and thats fine hes blessed me above and beyond- so if I have to endure a crappy plane ride for his shits and giggles thats completely fine. You see I failed to recognize the possibility that one or both of my seat buddies could be H.O.U.S.'s. Yes, thats right. Humans of an unusual size.
There's a brief moment after you board and you are standing in the aisle gazing toward the back of the plane when the flight seems full of hope. You spot a few normal people that look like they smell good- you could work with that- or how bout those emo kids with the headphones on? They're probably super weird, but you know they won't talk to you. But then you get to your row: 15... look to the person in the window seat and say FML.
That is exactly what happened to me Friday morning. There in the window seat AND the middle seat was Bubba or maybe Skinny Mike who wasn't skinny at all. Now normally I know better than to book a middle seat (why double your odds of having forced annoying conversation for God knows how many hours?), but believe it or not by the time I booked my flight ALL of the aisle seats were taken... Damnit!
I motioned to Biggie that I had the seat next to him. He sucked in his being long enough for me to squeeze one of my ass cheeks onto the seat. I looked up at the armrest- what should have been my ally was just taunting me. It just got down to the laws of space. This man was occupying ALL of it.
Part of me wanted to say, "Hey, Bub, you wanna pay me for half my seat?" But I thought better of it- getting half a seat for four hours was better than him taking over the whole seat and crushing me with his large ass- despite what you may think I really don't want my gravestone to say "Crushed by the Man."
I survived the ordeal, albeit a bit traumatized, but it did make me think. I know the airlines do recommend that larger persons buy two seats or fly first class. Well, I propose a third option. Sell half seats for budget friendly travelers. Big people don't have to buy two whole seats and skinny people can save money.
Deal?
Xoxo. Jildo
I think God must really like to fuck with me- and thats fine hes blessed me above and beyond- so if I have to endure a crappy plane ride for his shits and giggles thats completely fine. You see I failed to recognize the possibility that one or both of my seat buddies could be H.O.U.S.'s. Yes, thats right. Humans of an unusual size.
There's a brief moment after you board and you are standing in the aisle gazing toward the back of the plane when the flight seems full of hope. You spot a few normal people that look like they smell good- you could work with that- or how bout those emo kids with the headphones on? They're probably super weird, but you know they won't talk to you. But then you get to your row: 15... look to the person in the window seat and say FML.
That is exactly what happened to me Friday morning. There in the window seat AND the middle seat was Bubba or maybe Skinny Mike who wasn't skinny at all. Now normally I know better than to book a middle seat (why double your odds of having forced annoying conversation for God knows how many hours?), but believe it or not by the time I booked my flight ALL of the aisle seats were taken... Damnit!
I motioned to Biggie that I had the seat next to him. He sucked in his being long enough for me to squeeze one of my ass cheeks onto the seat. I looked up at the armrest- what should have been my ally was just taunting me. It just got down to the laws of space. This man was occupying ALL of it.
Part of me wanted to say, "Hey, Bub, you wanna pay me for half my seat?" But I thought better of it- getting half a seat for four hours was better than him taking over the whole seat and crushing me with his large ass- despite what you may think I really don't want my gravestone to say "Crushed by the Man."
I survived the ordeal, albeit a bit traumatized, but it did make me think. I know the airlines do recommend that larger persons buy two seats or fly first class. Well, I propose a third option. Sell half seats for budget friendly travelers. Big people don't have to buy two whole seats and skinny people can save money.
Deal?
Xoxo. Jildo
Friday, October 7, 2011
The Honorary Mexican
Sometimes we do crazy things to save money. Sometimes we roll taquitos for 4+ hours for free food and ice cream. Sometimes mid roll, while we are trying to contain that deliciously shredded chicken inside the fresh-off-the-grill corn tortilla an ex-con asks for our phone number. (And by "we" and "our" I mean "me". el-o-el.- that's "lol" in Mexican- err, yah- Mexican.)
Yes. All that just happened.
The beginning of October is a glorious time for the Central Coast of California. The air starts to get a little nippier, the trees start to get a little prettier and in the Santa Ynez valley all the winemakers harvest their grapes. But in Santa Barbara County there is a different harvest that gets all the locals with their pumped up kicks excited. Yup, that's right, the avocado harvest.
We Californians (I think I can claim this now that I have been here for 7 years) take our avocados VERY seriously. I would almost say you could compare our general feeling for avocados to that of the Egyptians feelings for cats. Si. Avocado's are our GODS! Gods that we we want to stuff our faces with. To celebrate this amazing fruit (yes, fruit, there is a seed), every year Carpinteria puts on the Annual Avocado Festival.
Just imagine one long street with vendor after vendor selling all things avocado- guacamole, burritos with guacamole, tacos with guacamole, fried avocados, avocado ice cream and taquitos with guacamole! You ever wonder what Heaven will be like- just visit Carp the first weekend of October. Screw streets made of gold, my heaven has streets made of avocado. NOM NOM NOM. I know, Heaven just got WAYYYY cooler.
Anyways, so on Thursday I texted my friend Jes (yes, I realize I do mention her a lot in my blog- but I swear she's not my only friend- just my coolest), to see if she wanted to hang out.
Jes: "No dice Salsa, I'm rolling taquitos. Remember?"
Me: "Ahh" (yes, I did remember- her church had a taquito booth at the Avocado Festival).
I offered my help... "Want help?"
That's how it all started. Of course as soon as she told me there was all I could eat food and soft serve ice cream, there was no way I was doing anything else on my Thursday night. Plus, I'm not going to lie, I was a wee bit excited about rolling really real, authentic Mexican taquitos :D.
(I have always had a fascination with Mexican food. Mostly because I am HA-BSESSED with it- if there was ever a food that speaks to the people its Mexican food. I was completely stoked- I got to be Mexican for a night! Woo hoo!)
So at 5:30pm on Thursday, Jes picked me up and we rolled to the Taquito Rolling Headquarters- Tropicana in I.V.- obviously. She set me up at one of the stations and her friend Laura taught me how to roll. An hour later when the convict crew showed up, I was giving tutorials on "How to Roll." I think it may have been my finest hour in life.
That's how it went all night- me, Jes, her church friends and the convict crew rolling taquitos. I'm telling you, if you want to have fun- roll taquitos with that group of people. HEYA! hahaha. So, not only did I have a TON of fun, make a bunch of new friends, roll a buhjillian taquitos- but I was making financially responsible decisions. FREE FOOD! WOO!
And, yes, I did have a convict- well ex-convict ask me for my number. Maybe I don't need to do online dating after all....
HAHAHAHAHA.
No, I didn't give it to him.
Over and Out, Jildo "The Honorary Mexican"- because I roll a damn good taquito.
P.S. Jes- next year- I'm coming all FOUR taquito rolling nights. No more holding out on the fun now that I know whats up!
Yes. All that just happened.
The beginning of October is a glorious time for the Central Coast of California. The air starts to get a little nippier, the trees start to get a little prettier and in the Santa Ynez valley all the winemakers harvest their grapes. But in Santa Barbara County there is a different harvest that gets all the locals with their pumped up kicks excited. Yup, that's right, the avocado harvest.
We Californians (I think I can claim this now that I have been here for 7 years) take our avocados VERY seriously. I would almost say you could compare our general feeling for avocados to that of the Egyptians feelings for cats. Si. Avocado's are our GODS! Gods that we we want to stuff our faces with. To celebrate this amazing fruit (yes, fruit, there is a seed), every year Carpinteria puts on the Annual Avocado Festival.
Just imagine one long street with vendor after vendor selling all things avocado- guacamole, burritos with guacamole, tacos with guacamole, fried avocados, avocado ice cream and taquitos with guacamole! You ever wonder what Heaven will be like- just visit Carp the first weekend of October. Screw streets made of gold, my heaven has streets made of avocado. NOM NOM NOM. I know, Heaven just got WAYYYY cooler.
Anyways, so on Thursday I texted my friend Jes (yes, I realize I do mention her a lot in my blog- but I swear she's not my only friend- just my coolest), to see if she wanted to hang out.
Jes: "No dice Salsa, I'm rolling taquitos. Remember?"
Me: "Ahh" (yes, I did remember- her church had a taquito booth at the Avocado Festival).
I offered my help... "Want help?"
That's how it all started. Of course as soon as she told me there was all I could eat food and soft serve ice cream, there was no way I was doing anything else on my Thursday night. Plus, I'm not going to lie, I was a wee bit excited about rolling really real, authentic Mexican taquitos :D.
(I have always had a fascination with Mexican food. Mostly because I am HA-BSESSED with it- if there was ever a food that speaks to the people its Mexican food. I was completely stoked- I got to be Mexican for a night! Woo hoo!)
So at 5:30pm on Thursday, Jes picked me up and we rolled to the Taquito Rolling Headquarters- Tropicana in I.V.- obviously. She set me up at one of the stations and her friend Laura taught me how to roll. An hour later when the convict crew showed up, I was giving tutorials on "How to Roll." I think it may have been my finest hour in life.
That's how it went all night- me, Jes, her church friends and the convict crew rolling taquitos. I'm telling you, if you want to have fun- roll taquitos with that group of people. HEYA! hahaha. So, not only did I have a TON of fun, make a bunch of new friends, roll a buhjillian taquitos- but I was making financially responsible decisions. FREE FOOD! WOO!
And, yes, I did have a convict- well ex-convict ask me for my number. Maybe I don't need to do online dating after all....
HAHAHAHAHA.
No, I didn't give it to him.
Over and Out, Jildo "The Honorary Mexican"- because I roll a damn good taquito.
P.S. Jes- next year- I'm coming all FOUR taquito rolling nights. No more holding out on the fun now that I know whats up!
Secrets Don't Make Friends
My senior year of high school I took a playwriting class. My teacher, Mr. Hughes, told everyone to get out a piece of paper and write down our deepest, darkest secret. He told us to fold the paper in half and hand it to the person sitting next to us. I think all 15 of us had simultaneous heart failure. He laughed, "You can keep your secret, but when you write a play, when you are trying to figure out what story you want to tell- you want to have that feeling. Complete vulnerability."
I got a text from my friend Jes today: "I miss your blog, write, damn it, write."
Sigh. For the past week I've been thinking about this next entry. I know, I know, I am a complete nerd. This blog may help me curb my spending, but I also don't want to bore the crap out of you. So, when I write a new entry, I really do try to have something new and interesting or at least embarrassing to say.
This past week nothing stood out. All the bills are the same old bills. All the spending struggles are the same ones that I've always had. Could it be? Was I all washed up? Was I... DUN DUN DUN... Boring now?! AHHHHHHHH.
No. I'm definitely not boring now. I actually do have a new development that is affecting my budget. Yes, this is where that deep, dark secret that you never want to tell ANYONE comes in. (Naturally, because I don't want to tell anyone, I'm going to tell EVERYONE... Because that's what being a good blogger is all about.)
Ok. Here goes. I have entered the world of online dating.
Pause.
Yup, I'm completely serious. I'll give you a moment to reassess your opinions of me... MOMENT. Ok, now its my turn to defend my decision...
FREEDOM!!!! (insert William Wallace charging into battle here)
1. Its just good math (and I love math- not as much as writing- but its up there)
No, seriously. Think about it. What do you do on a day to day basis? I go to work 40 hours a week. I work with mostly girls. When I'm not at work I hang out with my girlfriends. When I'm not hanging out with my girlfriends I'm at bootcamp, which is 80% girls. So, unless I plan on becoming a lesbian (NOT HAPPENING)- this whole falling in love thing probably ain't gonna happen. Oh, wait, you are right! I completely forgot about all the quality guys I meet at bars. HAHAHA. Yeaaaahhhhhhh. Online dating it is.
But on to the important part: How online dating is affecting my budget. You may think you know where this is going, but you don't! No, I am not saving money, despite getting free food/drinks! Yes- I can do math. Hardy, har, har. I'm not saving money, because no one in Santa Barbara participates in online dating. Wait, no, let me rephrase that. No normal people (aside from myself of course), participate in online dating here. Consequently, I am finding myself "meeting" people in LA and driving halfway to get food/drinks.
Do you know what this does to my gas tank? Do you know?! Ok, so this is only a recent development. I joined the online dating scene two weeks ago. But, in that time I have already had two dates. That's an extra quarter of a tank of gas a week! I'm telling you it adds up.
Will I give up? Throw in the towel? No! Not unless I meet the wrong person and they end up being a psycho and I get chopped up in little pieces. But hey, where's the reward if you don't take a few teensy weensy risks? I really don't need all my fingers and toes. Extraneous.
Over and Out. Jildo
I got a text from my friend Jes today: "I miss your blog, write, damn it, write."
Sigh. For the past week I've been thinking about this next entry. I know, I know, I am a complete nerd. This blog may help me curb my spending, but I also don't want to bore the crap out of you. So, when I write a new entry, I really do try to have something new and interesting or at least embarrassing to say.
This past week nothing stood out. All the bills are the same old bills. All the spending struggles are the same ones that I've always had. Could it be? Was I all washed up? Was I... DUN DUN DUN... Boring now?! AHHHHHHHH.
No. I'm definitely not boring now. I actually do have a new development that is affecting my budget. Yes, this is where that deep, dark secret that you never want to tell ANYONE comes in. (Naturally, because I don't want to tell anyone, I'm going to tell EVERYONE... Because that's what being a good blogger is all about.)
Ok. Here goes. I have entered the world of online dating.
Pause.
Yup, I'm completely serious. I'll give you a moment to reassess your opinions of me... MOMENT. Ok, now its my turn to defend my decision...
FREEDOM!!!! (insert William Wallace charging into battle here)
1. Its just good math (and I love math- not as much as writing- but its up there)
No, seriously. Think about it. What do you do on a day to day basis? I go to work 40 hours a week. I work with mostly girls. When I'm not at work I hang out with my girlfriends. When I'm not hanging out with my girlfriends I'm at bootcamp, which is 80% girls. So, unless I plan on becoming a lesbian (NOT HAPPENING)- this whole falling in love thing probably ain't gonna happen. Oh, wait, you are right! I completely forgot about all the quality guys I meet at bars. HAHAHA. Yeaaaahhhhhhh. Online dating it is.
But on to the important part: How online dating is affecting my budget. You may think you know where this is going, but you don't! No, I am not saving money, despite getting free food/drinks! Yes- I can do math. Hardy, har, har. I'm not saving money, because no one in Santa Barbara participates in online dating. Wait, no, let me rephrase that. No normal people (aside from myself of course), participate in online dating here. Consequently, I am finding myself "meeting" people in LA and driving halfway to get food/drinks.
Do you know what this does to my gas tank? Do you know?! Ok, so this is only a recent development. I joined the online dating scene two weeks ago. But, in that time I have already had two dates. That's an extra quarter of a tank of gas a week! I'm telling you it adds up.
Will I give up? Throw in the towel? No! Not unless I meet the wrong person and they end up being a psycho and I get chopped up in little pieces. But hey, where's the reward if you don't take a few teensy weensy risks? I really don't need all my fingers and toes. Extraneous.
Over and Out. Jildo
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